Rebecca Goldberg
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The Net

11/15/2013

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When I decided to quit my day job, more than a year and a half ago, most people reacted in one of two ways:
  1. OMG how the heck are you going to pay for food/rent/heath insurance/coffee/cat food FREAKOUT
  2. Good for you, dude.  Leap and the net will appear...

And although one of these responses was more supportive, they were equally unhelpful.  

I was thinking about this recently after having coffee with a friend who is considering a similar move. I told her my story and I offered some perspective about what has and has not worked for me. One thing that I've realized is that the net does not just appear.  

You make your own net. You are making your net day after day. It's made of your people (whether or not they can give you work or money), your skills (whether or not they seem relevant to the dream that you are pursuing), your experiences, your resiliance in the face of setbacks or outright failure, everything. Your life up until now is your net. 

When I leapt, my net included a healthy saving account, some marketable skills to bolster up my less marketable skills, a whole of lot supportive friends, and my certainty that if this was a mistake it was at least the right mistake at the right time in my life.  And guess what? My net has holes in it!  I'm still uncomfortable with selling myself.  I still cringe when I think about reaching out to people as "networking." And so I'm still knitting it together, tying knots, and testing fibers. 

I live in my net and always will.  In fact, I think I'm going start thinking of it as a trampoline instead--a place where I can jump and keep jumping no matter how hard I fall. 
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The Network

8/5/2013

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I'm trying to redefine my relationship with the idea of networking. It's so easy for me to jump into thinking of it as something kind of icky and (as an introvert) completely exhausting. 

Also, I'm kind of terrible at it. At one point, I would have considered this a point of pride, part of my romanticized self-image as a cowgirl who doesn't need no help from nobody, an authentic independent spirit who doesn't play by the rules, etc., etc., add your own image here. Trying to make a life as an artist and freelancing as an editor to pay the rent has turned that attitude around right away. But I'm starting to realize that networking is not only necessary, it's also really very satisfying, even for an introvert like me.  Here's why:
  • Every single thing that I do works better if there is someone else involved. I don't always need collaborators, but I do need other humans be present and occasionally listening to help me keep myself on track and give the work a life outside my own head. 
  • Helping to connect people is really very satisfying. Seriously, it's fun to help! Especially when I'm helping more than one person at once and with very little effort on my part! Having a network means that I can sometimes be that connector when someone needs a hand. And it reminds me that it's ok for me to ask other people for help too. They usually don't mind at all.
  • I know amazing people who are doing some damn cool things. Going out into the world and talking to them about what they're passionate about isn't a chore--it's a privilege! 

Listen, I'm still not great at this networking thing. I'm awkward and kind of shy in most social situations. For me, talking to strangers, and thinking of myself as someone who has something of value to offer them, will probably never come naturally to me. But I'm working on it because I'm learning to see it as more than a necessary evil.
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